recovering...
it's been practically 5 months since the big break up... i'm doing much better now, but it was very tough in the beginning, especially being in a new city with few friends. i hadn't realized how much time, effort and energy i'd placed in the relationship till then. because i felt as though i had nothing left, except work.. i felt as though i had lost myself, lost my identity somewhere.. i almost feel like an empty shell..
and i have been so silly - i'd forgotten how important it was to end a relationship cleanly... there's no way we could become friends immediately after a break up - it's impossible. maybe after a year or so... i know that this situation arose because we both didn't have many close friends who we could depend on during tough times... and most of the friends we had were friends that we'd made together...
but I have since made many new friends - and it isn't until now that i remember how important it is to have some things of my own in a relationship.. i guess these are things you take for granted when you live at home, where you've been brought up all your life - because there will undoubtedly always be something of your own. but when you move to a new country with someone, you don't realize how much of your own life you end up forsaking if you don't make a conscious effort to keep something of your own. but at the sametime, would it be fair to the relationship if you did that? i don't know... i definitely think it would've been healthier looking back now...
so a large part of the recovery process involved the following:
and i have been so silly - i'd forgotten how important it was to end a relationship cleanly... there's no way we could become friends immediately after a break up - it's impossible. maybe after a year or so... i know that this situation arose because we both didn't have many close friends who we could depend on during tough times... and most of the friends we had were friends that we'd made together...
but I have since made many new friends - and it isn't until now that i remember how important it is to have some things of my own in a relationship.. i guess these are things you take for granted when you live at home, where you've been brought up all your life - because there will undoubtedly always be something of your own. but when you move to a new country with someone, you don't realize how much of your own life you end up forsaking if you don't make a conscious effort to keep something of your own. but at the sametime, would it be fair to the relationship if you did that? i don't know... i definitely think it would've been healthier looking back now...
so a large part of the recovery process involved the following:
- watching korean series
- making new friends
- drinking and partying
- planning out things to look forward to
(e.g. dinner, shows, parties)
what i need to better next time is taking care of my health - it's sadly quite funny, because we were never sick during our relationship. but since the breakup, we have both been sick.. and even now, i still have the nastiest cough. everytime it's practically better, i go drinking with friends, and then it's back.
okay - it's 2AM and i have to work tomorrow... probably another reason why i'm not getting any better... time to sleep...
posted by c`kREtZ at 1:20 am
1 Comments:
i think its definitely healthier in any relationship to keep some distance. like, its important to give time to your family. and girlfriends, and of course, yourself. even though you might not feel like giving time to other things, its still essential to your wellbeing.
you're the only person i know who can dedicate 100% of your energy to your bf. not healthy.
and wrt your health. don't drink too much! its so dehydrating. bad for your liver.
xox
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