losing hope..

life has been tough for me lately... new york city scares me now that i am on my own... it's scary because many people here seem to be living the fast life, and even their approach to love has adopted this way of life...

back in Sydney, I'd always thought that sex in the city was a very exaggerated version of relationships in new york city - but from what i have heard from friends here, i think it's a watered down version... apparently people date several people at the one time, until one asks the other "are we exclusive?"... it just seems so... cold.

and even people who are in serious relationships / married (with kids!) are so dodgy! i have had my share of dodgy people hitting onto me over the past year - and i actually have to remind them they have a partner... i guess that is what scares me - i'm scared that i am losing hope...

so then i have to ask myself - are men like this around the world? or is it more prevalent here in nyc? why is it that it's thrown in my face now? or was i just oblivious to it all back in sydney?