reminiscence...

just wanted to reminisce for a moment...

i had a perfect, perfect day on Saturday, February 18th. I woke up early in the morning, travelled to Tony's place for my friend, Anita to pick us up to go snowboarding / skiing. Anita, Tony and Alex went snowboarding, whilst I went to the beginners ski lessons - and spent the whole day there! hehe.. it was a lot of fun.. then afterwards, we went shopping at Woodbury Commons - where I bought 2 tops.. and then dinner at Peking House - where we had great food... i was very happy that day..

so - that was the day i met Tony again, after a year of listening to Anita talk about him... I was very careful that day to stay away from him.. i know how jealous girls can get.. and i didn't want any unnecessary problems resulting... besides, anita is so good to me... i was intent on keeping our friendship...

when we finished at the ski slopes, and got to woodbury commons.. i realized he liked to shop! man - do i miss that! the only 2 guys who i could shop with was my 1st bf who loved to shop, and my bestfriend's exbf who didn't mind accompanying me whilst i shopped.. Tony even provides input on the styles and provides some good opinions from a male perspective... his hands were dry, so i gave him some handcream, and he recognized the l'Occitane brand that i had.. he liked the top that i bought from ralph lauren.. but wasn't keen on the gucci handbag i was looking at.. yes - he had me quite intrigued...

dinner was a lot of fun, and also quite relaxing... he ordered a lot of dishes... and they were all quite good! so he is also quite the food connoisseur...

by the end of the night, we parted ways, but not before he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek as friends, yet also not quite as platonic friends as it seemed to linger there just a split second longer... perhaps it was a figment of my own imagination...

--- and that was how it began...

over the course of the next week, i had forgotten about my good friend anita.. i was in my own little world, having been so captivated by this guy... we flirted with each other, playing with words... there were moments where he'd make statements that would make my heart flutter for a moment... he had returned from a trip to dc and was quite exhausted - so i'd suggested he go home and nap for a moment, with which he'd responded "at least one of us will have to keep working, to ensure we can continue to drape you in pink polo..." - the connotations brought about by that statement almost made my heart skip a beat..

so we finally meet up for several drinks on friday night.. he looked hot that night... in his black cashmere sweater, and his burberry jacket.. and we had great conversation, we were laughing and having so much fun.. he told me i was pretty.. and i told him that i couldn't betray my friend with which he said they only have a brotherly/sisterly relationship - that it was purely platonic unlike our's.. but at one point, he had referred to himself as a scumbag.. was he warning me then? i don't know.. but at that moment, i remember being shocked - and i told him i didn't associate myself with scumbags.. and i turned away from him... perhaps we both already knew it was too late... because he started poking and tickling me, and i immediately let my guard down again..

after a few drinks, he had mentioned he was hungry, and he knew of a place that served great spinach dip... so we decide to head out.. i tried to finish the remainder of my drink, when he asked why - i was a little confused, and told him it was because he'd bought me the drink.. at which point he grabbed me around the waist, gave me a quick peck on the cheek (whilst almost looking a little embarrassed - very boyish cute), and whispered in my ear, "let's go"... how could i say no to that?

we headed out into the cold, where we stood side by side, waiting for a cab.. when he pulled me close to him, and wrapped me in his jacket, with my face against his warm, soft, cashmere sweater.. i slowly looked up at him - but he was engaged, trying to locate a cab for us... but his heart was beating fast...

we get to our next stop - houstons.. where we ate, drank and were merry! we sat close, with his legs rubbing against mine..

----

i should have went home then... but i didn't... we went to his place, looked through his photos when he was in europe... and then he kissed me... it would've been nice if that were it.. but then he continued on down my neck... woah - that was way too fast... so then i stopped him... and told him that it was time for me to leave... he kissed me goodnight.. and i left...

it was strange... i didn't know how i felt by then... and then the next day, anita called and asked about my shenanigans.. by now, i'm a mess.. a very confused mess.. and i just felt bad... and then it gets worse...

the very next night, i met up with him again. i wasn't sure what to expect. i don't know why i wanted to see him - but i did. we danced for a bit. but that was it. and then we headed to his place again. okay - now that i'm going through it all again, i'm embarrassed. i feel like shit just writing this down. maybe i should split this entry in 2. a good half. and a bad half. ha.

i met up with him at a bar close by to the birthday party i was at, and we had a few drinks and danced until his friends continued on to a different party. after which, we left and went to his place.. i get changed into his pj's - i remember thinking to myself - i really just want to lie next to him.. so we played around and snuggled together for the night... i was coughing all night, and he was so sweet, holding me close so that i wouldn't get cold... we woke up the next morning, had brunch together... and something had changed - and he became kinda cold... all he could really say was "whatever..." and "nice...". yeh - what can i say? he had warned me about him being a scumbag..

so then i retaliated, and he retaliated back.. and it all ended as quickly as it all began...