aimless..

it's almost 3pm on a sunday, and i just woke up. i'm still incredibly tired - and i feel sad...

i have no idea what the f*** i'm doing. what is the point of my existence? i can't go on with my life without setting milestones. All I want is to be happy. is that so difficult? But why does nothing make me happy these days?

all the little things in life used to make me happy. good food. partying with friends. going shopping. travelling. sleeping. watching a movie. going to the museum. going to the park.

why has that changed in nyc? is it because it all comes so easily? no... maybe because i know that i'm not heading in the right direction in my life. i want to have a happy and balanced lifestyle. but i wont find that here in new york. so why did i run away?

i watched clerks II yesterday, and they had one great point coming out of the movie - we can't be a clone - and try and achieve the same goals that everyone else has. we need to establish our own. but maybe i am that simplistic. my goals ARE the same as everyone else's. argh. i don't know.