letting go...

wow... went to dinner tonight with j... and he got pretty emotional tonight... i know it's not easy for him to express his emotions - but i didn't want to deal with it anymore... you know what? it reaches a point where it is just too late. i gave him around 4 to 5 months, and that's it... he's had his chance.

well, he actually got teary eyed during dinner tonight.. mentioned something along the lines of:

• sorry for causing me so much pain
• doesn't want to hurt me anymore
• wants to try and pursue me again, but doesn't think he should because he's afraid he'll encounter commitment phobia again
• etc, etc, etc...

whatever... in response, i just smiled at him (thinking - yeah, typical of you to want me after i start to move on with my life!) and just told him he's going through a bad patch. he probably needs time to let go, but i will be here for him through these bad times...etc he knows that such a diplomatic response really means - "you've got to be f*cking kidding me - go get a life, and leave me alone".

unbelievable... i'm happy though - because, even after he's expressed his feelings, and seeing him fishing to see how i felt about us, i'm still feeling good. so now i know that i am trully over him.

i do feel bad for him.. and i try to be a good friend.. but what more can he expect from me? honestly - not much more..