can you stay friends after breaking up?
my first boyfriend and i go back a bit - from 1998 i think. shit - that's not 8 years ago is it?
(chuen mui - that means you & your bf go back around that far too!! hahaha...)
and he and i have remained very close friends. i am so happy we were able to stay friends after we broke up - because it means so much to me even now. he is always there when i need him. he still knows me so well. and i just love him to death. no - we're not in love. there's a clear distinction there. he is someone that i know i will always be able to rely on. and he makes me feel loved and he still makes me feel important.
it wasn't easy in the beginning. but then it all worked out in the end. we can talk about our relationships, sex life, anything - and there's not the slightest bit of jealousy or anything. i mean, i've met all his girlfriends (the ones worthwhile meeting, that is), and he's even brought one of his steadier girlfriends to see my mum!
now that we're living in different countries/cities, we're able to stay at each other's places whilst knowing that nothing dodgy will ever happen. not to say he wouldn't tease and try - in jest, of course.
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see - that was what i had hoped i'd be able to get from my latest ex-boyfriend, "j". but it has been so difficult, and it's really taking its toll on us. it's just not the same as my first bf. i think J is a compulsive liar - and just doesn't know when to stop. we've been broken up now for well over half a year, and he's still lying to me. he backtracks when i catch him in a lie. but then he forgets he told me truth, and continues to lie. why?
oh - and his new korean girlfriend isn't helping either. apparently, she hates my guts even though i haven't met her and have done absolutely nothing to her or her boyfriend. she gave J a huge hickey once on his neck, as though she's marking him as her's. she even forwarded photographs of the two together to me! i can't say both things didn't have any effect on me. they did. i freely admit it. but it doesn't mean i love him or i want to be with him at all.
i'm just sick of their antics at this point. i don't even care if we're friends or not. only because i feel as though it was never a real friendship. how could it be if it were full of lies? sure - he knows me in and out. but do i really know him? i don't feel as though i do. then again, maybe he doesn't really know me at all - otherwise he'd know it'd be okay not to lie. to reveal who he really is. even the dark and ugly side. and that maybe i could've accepted it. but i just wasn't given that choice was i?
so no big loss. it was just a waste of 2 years. in a twisted way, they were 2 happy years - only because i lived in a lie.
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Update: Tuesday, June 13th 4:ooPM
okay - and so it is bothering me that he hasn't done anything about his gf harrassing me... not surprising that i'm bothered by it.. it just makes me question whether he really does consider me as a friend or not.. i meant, if anyone bothered my friends, let alone ex-boyfriend - i'd question their morales and mental stability! but the fact that he hasn't may even implicate him! maybe he sent them just to mess me up! argh. i wish i could stop thinking stupid thoughts.
(chuen mui - that means you & your bf go back around that far too!! hahaha...)
and he and i have remained very close friends. i am so happy we were able to stay friends after we broke up - because it means so much to me even now. he is always there when i need him. he still knows me so well. and i just love him to death. no - we're not in love. there's a clear distinction there. he is someone that i know i will always be able to rely on. and he makes me feel loved and he still makes me feel important.
it wasn't easy in the beginning. but then it all worked out in the end. we can talk about our relationships, sex life, anything - and there's not the slightest bit of jealousy or anything. i mean, i've met all his girlfriends (the ones worthwhile meeting, that is), and he's even brought one of his steadier girlfriends to see my mum!
now that we're living in different countries/cities, we're able to stay at each other's places whilst knowing that nothing dodgy will ever happen. not to say he wouldn't tease and try - in jest, of course.
-----
see - that was what i had hoped i'd be able to get from my latest ex-boyfriend, "j". but it has been so difficult, and it's really taking its toll on us. it's just not the same as my first bf. i think J is a compulsive liar - and just doesn't know when to stop. we've been broken up now for well over half a year, and he's still lying to me. he backtracks when i catch him in a lie. but then he forgets he told me truth, and continues to lie. why?
oh - and his new korean girlfriend isn't helping either. apparently, she hates my guts even though i haven't met her and have done absolutely nothing to her or her boyfriend. she gave J a huge hickey once on his neck, as though she's marking him as her's. she even forwarded photographs of the two together to me! i can't say both things didn't have any effect on me. they did. i freely admit it. but it doesn't mean i love him or i want to be with him at all.
i'm just sick of their antics at this point. i don't even care if we're friends or not. only because i feel as though it was never a real friendship. how could it be if it were full of lies? sure - he knows me in and out. but do i really know him? i don't feel as though i do. then again, maybe he doesn't really know me at all - otherwise he'd know it'd be okay not to lie. to reveal who he really is. even the dark and ugly side. and that maybe i could've accepted it. but i just wasn't given that choice was i?
so no big loss. it was just a waste of 2 years. in a twisted way, they were 2 happy years - only because i lived in a lie.
-----
Update: Tuesday, June 13th 4:ooPM
okay - and so it is bothering me that he hasn't done anything about his gf harrassing me... not surprising that i'm bothered by it.. it just makes me question whether he really does consider me as a friend or not.. i meant, if anyone bothered my friends, let alone ex-boyfriend - i'd question their morales and mental stability! but the fact that he hasn't may even implicate him! maybe he sent them just to mess me up! argh. i wish i could stop thinking stupid thoughts.
posted by c`kREtZ at 12:11 am
2 comments
